Thoughts on Personal Security

So there I was feeling secure in my world, surrounded by my stockpile of canned green beans, counting my silver coins and cleaning my guns. When it comes to my attention that my very lively hood was in immediate jeopardy! But not just my lively hood but that of another 500 million Americans as well. Ok maybe not 500 million others but at least 499,999,999 of us. I mean how could I possibly doubt such sage wisdom coming from Queen Nancy herself, it simply could not be possible that the great oracle of Sodom and Gomorra west (otherwise known as San Francisco) could be wrong! Things like that just don’t happen!

But then I saw that all was saved! President Ellsworth came to the rescue and told us all not to worry! He was not going to let any of those evil bankers make more than $500,000 a year! Saints be praised! The capital world was so impressed with such profound wisdom that they pulled another few tens of billions of dollars out of the stock market! Maybe they're concerned that I might be trying to corner the market in canned green beans. I think I had better check the futures numbers on that ASAP.

After having checked my green beans stocks I feel that I already have a large enough share of that market that I needn’t concern myself with being damaged by the green bean speculators any time soon. I’m going to need to find something into which I can diversify. I was thinking maybe vacuum pumps! There could not possibly be a whole lot of competition in the vacuum pump market. So as a careful investor I started doing my research. Lord was I in for a shock, someone had already beaten me to it and had the market all locked up. Even more shocking I find it was Queen Nancy herself! Seems NASA has hooked tubes to her ears and found a void big enough to suck the very existence out of a black hole! So who needs to go back to the moon there’s plenty of space right there on the Potomac!